Nothing

I can feel myself peeling off in strips, slowly, so slowly. Lay it on a mannequin like paper-mâché. This here? It will all be okay. That’s what we say.

Careful not to breathe in too deep, share the air. Our lungs only ever half-filled.

I watch my lives walking beside me, all the people I could have been but wasn’t. All the choices I didn’t make, the people I didn’t love, the places I didn’t go… or left too soon. It’s okay, it’s all okay, don’t make eye contact. I don’t know you.

His eyes are steel knives freshly sharpened and we are all thin-skinned. Look at all these veins struggling to surface.

The love was never enough. The wine never lasts. It’ll all be okay, that’s what we say.

He carried me on his back. Stone to stone. Laughing, boosting me up. I kissed the back of his neck and whispered, “Let’s stay this way.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Nothing.

We stay up late at night reminiscing. The moments are over before they begin.

I love so hard I can’t look forward, only back.

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14 thoughts on “Nothing”

  1. “I watch my lives walking beside me, all the people I could have been but wasn’t.”

    “The love was never enough. The wine never lasts. It’ll all be okay, that’s what we say.”

    i ❤ your words.

    xo

  2. I watch my lives walking beside me, all the people I could have been but wasn’t. All the choices I didn’t make, the people I didn’t love, the places I didn’t go… or left too soon. It’s okay, it’s all okay, don’t make eye contact. I don’t know you.

    So beautiful.

  3. Yet again, I get it. All. I think you, me and a bottle of wine would get on very well. I don’t think I say that very often to strangers.

    1. You were in Athens?! Quel shame! I make an excellent tour guide. You know, if what you’re after is bar-hopping. Greek history? Not so much.

      1. That is EXACTLY what I’m after. I want to come back to Greece so badly, but to see more of the islands this time. If it happens, you will have to join me and we can co-author a wine-soaked adventure. It would be the best!

  4. Been missing your writing lately Lindsay. Hope you don’t give up writing for this blog. Your posts never fail to be both gorgeously written and inspiring (to a non-writer giving it a try). Thanks for another awesome post here!

    1. Thanks! I’m not giving up on the blog, but lately I haven’t felt inspired to write anything… hopefully that will change soon…

  5. Somehow in this Nothing you managed to conclude everything…. you write so beautifully, I m glad I stumbled upon your blog 🙂 (and I m greek, so one fine day I can possibly show you the islands and the beaches and have fun 🙂 )
    Love and Gratitude
    Annie

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