Hunger

I let the oranges rot. It’s depressing when the cupboards are nearing bare and all these lovely oranges are going bad in the hanging fruit basket. I hang on to them, hanging there, because when I touch them they go soft in the middle, not firm like when I bought them. Still, they bring a brightness to the kitchen and if I roll them on the side that’s less brown they seem more inviting.

The day will come when I’ll have to dump them into the compost or green bin. When they resurrect the blasted fruit flies or start to sour, leaking brown blood on to the floor. They no longer taste any good but they still have some use yet. It’s a shame to be premature. It’s desperate to hang on too long or so they tell me.

January comes to a close. Bitter nights when I shrug into my jacket and close my eyes to the wind. Bright mornings that should bring renewal but the coffee’s always burnt and the milk’s gone.

I should go to the grocery so I make a mental list but all the items make me feel full and I like this aching hunger. It feels like the ambition to disappear and it’s quieter the smaller you get.

Yesterday, someone told me I’ve lost weight and my smiles look sad. I practiced smiling in the mirror. She was right.

Today, I bought a bright red pepper and set it in the fruit basket. I’ll eat it, I think. But it’s all just apples and oranges anyway.

 

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Hunter says:

    This is an awfully good line: “It feels like the ambition to disappear and it’s quieter the smaller you get.”

    Are you submitting work anywhere?

    1. Lindsay says:

      I’m thinking about it but I honestly wouldn’t know where to start.

      1. Hunter says:

        Here’s a list to get you started:

        http://burrowpress.com/25-online-literary-journals-getting-buzz/

        You can also poke around on Duotrope for ideas.

        Go get your voice out there!

        1. Lindsay says:

          Thanks Hunter. I’m going to get on this.

  2. Mr C says:

    This is so sad 😦 😦

    like x1000 :*(

  3. Holly says:

    please take care of yourself so you can write more beautiful sentences, miss rainingbird.

  4. rob says:

    That used to happen to me until I bought plastic fruit, filled them with caramel candies and vitamin c chews. it’s a win win for all except for the flies-but they can f themselves 🙂

  5. Michael says:

    Love, Birdy. Love. Love. Love.

  6. Alexia says:

    Urgh, every post is like a pocketful of soul How do you do it?

  7. justleiah says:

    Perfect. at least to me. good work

  8. tina says:

    yes yes yes. mmm hmm, good stuff

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