Dear Blog

You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real. You are words and convoluted emotions. You are fiction. You are my life written out, my dirty perceptions, changed, modified, embellished. You are moments that I cling to and thoughts I wish I had or things I should have said. You are mistakes and confessions. You are practice. You are issues worked through or ripped apart. You are my broken heart in pieces, unfixable, unavoidable. Why did I write you? Why did I write you? If you were paper I would tear you apart, I would throw you in a fire, I would watch you burn. You are not a diary. You are not a journal. You aren’t truth or reality. You are my greatest mistake.

What came first: The writing or the misery?

You are a crutch, a red flag, a buried time capsule. Words. Just words.

If I could go back, I would never write you. If I could rewind.

Hiatus.

Tegan and Sara – Come On

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Dear Blog”

  1. 😦

    Do what you have to do.

    But don’t be ashamed of your words. Or even worse, of your feelings.

    They’re beautiful and valid. Even if they’re not “true.”

    Don’t let anyone make you feel you otherwise.

  2. Unless you’ve been fabricating the emotions you’ve been pouring onto this bad boy, how is this any less real or personal than a diary or journal? What can be MORE real than something so intrinsically connected to your feelings at their rawest and most unrehearsed?

    By all means take the hiatus, it might be an idea to rethink what the blog means to you and reconsider the way you operate around it. But never regret the storytelling you’ve shared with us not underestimate the value of words. Least of all your words, Lindsay.

  3. As the saying goes…

    With power, comes great responsibility.

    Your power is your gift of words.
    They will haunt you. They will tear you down and test every part of your being. They are your curse… but more importantly they define your beauty, your elegance, your intelligence, your strength, your courage, your determination (I could keep going).

    Wish to change nothing, for this blog will inevitably bring you great sorrow; but more importantly, great happiness. It has and will continue to connect you with many wonderful people, each with their own strange and quirky radiance that fills, entertains and pleases you.

    Wish only to continue to feel things that inspire you to write such compelling pieces. Both the good and bad.

    Love you ❤

  4. Lindsay,
    I’ve never worked up the courage to comment on your blog but have read every post since I stumbled across it 6 months ago. I love the vivid imagery and how you embrace the pain of loss and make it into something beautiful.

    Kahlil Gibran, a famous lebonese poet who often wrote of sorrow, say:     
    “Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls”.

    I feel like the character that you write of in your blog, whether or not she is a piece of the “real” you, is doing this. With each person she meets and spends time with and with each blog post shared with us.

    I hope you find the strength to continue to write.
    And regardless of that, I hope you find peace with all of this.

  5. Dear Lindsay,

    We are very, very fortunate that you have shared your unmatched poetry and prose with us for this long. Your command of language and emotion is extremely strong and laudable.

    Thank you.

    –Mr. Apron

  6. I like your words, your writing. I like that they resonated, and that I felt less like I was the only one who felt fear, who didn’t know, who hurt. I’m not sad that you wrote them. I am sad that you are. Still, you don’t write for me. I hope your hiatus breathes something new into your path. Happy thoughts, hey x

  7. The misery comes first. This post is proof of that. Excellent.

    Maybe we can rewind and fix what we’ve done wrong. Maybe this is our gazillionth time through this life and each time we do a little better, always reaching out for perfection. So make sure that you’re making the right choices right now. If we dwell on the past rather than look to the future we’ll never reach our final destination.

  8. It is real. People read you. I read you. I love your blog and your honesty.

    I’ve been where you’ve been emotionally before and a break is best, but don’t give it up. Please don’t give it up.

    You inspire me and I hope that you can see that even the daily thoughts you have are written more beautifully than anything any of us could ever write with practice.

  9. Hello. My name is Kimberly S. and I have been following your site for some time. I wanted you to know that I have nominated your site for The Sunshine Award , which is a blogger-created award, given to those whose “Positivity and Creativity Inspire Others.”

    For more information about this award, you may go to my blog, The Knack of Flying at http://knackoflying.blogspot.com

    Thank you for your kindness in sharing your site with me. Even in your roughest moments, I have admired your enviable way with words.
    Sincerely, Kim S.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s