[EDIT] After some coercion, the male subject of these past few blogs has agreed to write a guest post for me from his perspective. Virtually unheard of, tune in tomorrow to read my subject’s response.
“I didn’t want this, any of this.”
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.”
The room is dark and my computer blinks morse code on the wall. I feel like if I exhale too quickly words will leak out of my mouth and hang in the air, a light fog of insecurity. I let the breath out slowly but he hears the words I couldn’t say like residue of a fire or ash on his skin. His hand is open and I trace the outline of his fingers. I let myself be pulled closer. I mould my body around his. With my head on his bare chest I let the pounding of his heart lull me in and out of sleep.
His fingers tracing my collar bone. My hands in his hair. Our hips and that moan when I bite softly at an ear lobe. I’m all out of fight. I want to know these sounds. I want to draw a map on his skin, write footnotes in the muscle and bone. My fingers are insatiable, running lightly up his back and down his sides. Circling a nipple, dipping under the band of his pants. The braille of goosebumps whispering secrets to my hands.
His breath catches and his tone turns husky. My name all at once a growl, a plea, a demand. His weight a comfort, his hands holding me, lifting, adjusting. We part and my hips find his again, meet and merge. I shake my head, emptying these thoughts from my mind, the words hovering on my lips, wanting to wait just a moment more. Knowing the line has already been crossed.
He sits up, leaning back, struggling to gain control. I am pinned, a butterfly in a glass case, a quiet surrender. My heart beats in purples and golds, faint against the twilight. A thrum that vibrates through my entire body and into the surrounding air. An electricity I never knew existed. The positive charge of his touch on the negative of my skin. Somewhere a light turns on.
Somewhere there are lovers silhouetted against a window.
I fall asleep curled against his back, kissing constellations into the freckles on his skin.
Lissie – Everywhere I Go