I’m one of those people, you know the ones. The people who somehow managed to make it to their mid-twenties without seeing most of the classic films that have shaped contemporary cinema. I’ve decided to rectify this gross mistake by watching as many classics as possible before next year. Get a jump on things. Without even realizing it, I rented West Side Story and made this an experience to share with the interwebs. I live-tweeted my experience of seeing WSS for the first time tonight and made a few people laugh. So, here it is in it’s entirety:
Watching West Side Story for the first time… these are the lamest gangs ever.
You know you are a bitter singleton when: actors claim love at first sight and you think “bullshit” and shake your head.
The Jets and the Sharks are probably the least intimidating gang names to ever exist.
They are all about to rumble… I hope that means a dance off.
OH NOES SOMEONE PULLED A SHINY KNIFE!! Shit just got real in the West Side.
Riff totes pulled the silent line “A pox on both your houses.”
Crap! And then Tony stabs Bernardo and suddenly this ending doesn’t look so happily ever after, afterall. Spoiler Alert.
Now we’ll see if “oops, I killed your brother in a revenge rage.” Is forgivable in the West Side.
This is awkward. She seems cool with it. I mean she’s crying but she’s also all over him.
A little more turmoil for the whole lover/brother murderer thing might be nice. Apparently in these movies a song makes everything better.
The Jets are upset over all the death so they are dancing it out in an abandoned garage. No good can come of this.
The new leader of the Jets and the squirrely wannabe girl gang member just had a moment: “Ya done good buddy boy.” “Thanks, daddy-o.”
Oh. Anita caught the lovers in the act. She’s pissed. “A boy who kills cannot love.” Seriously, Maria, listen to your friend.
Wait. But, now Maria is singing about being super in love. She convinces Anita. Now they are harmonizing. I think all is forgiven.
I’m totally going to pull this singing my feelings move next time I get in a fight or accidentally kill someone in a blind rage.
The plot thickens: Maria gets detained by mean bear-like cop. Anita goes to leave a message for Tony or something, I wasn’t watching.
Wow. The Jets are super racist and dance-raping Anita all over the place. This is really uncomfortable.
SHOCKING PLOT TWIST: Anita tells the Jets to tell Tony that Chino found out about them and shot her!
Tony looks like he’s going to be sick. Dance it out, Tony. Just dance it out. Nope. He’s running the streets screaming for Chino.
“CHINOOOOOO! C’mon get me too! Sob sob I want you to.”
WAIT! He sees Maria and everything might wor—oh wait, no, just got shot. He’s totally dying in her arms.
Oh nooooo she takes Chino’s gun. Crazy woman with a gun! Says they killed those people with hate. Pretty sure it was with knives and guns.
Cops show up but don’t do anything. She kisses the body. Members from both gangs carry the it away. Friends. Alls well that ends well.
Whoa whoa whoa. THE END?? I thought the Juliet-character was supposed to die in the end. This isn’t like Romeo & Juliet at all.
Good call, Maria. Why commit suicide over a 2-day romance? Sing a song, dance a little, you’ll love again.
And so ends the live tweeting of my first West Side Story experience. Tune in next time, when I watch & tweet the classics.
What classic should I watch/tweet next?