He texts me from Florida and all of a sudden I am aflutter. I can feel life in areas of my heart that I thought had long grown dormant. Not to mention the tingles in unmentionable places; those dirty tingles that have you up until 1am. This is my favourite part. The pre-“screwed it all up again” phase when I still think I can reach the unattainable in creating marriages of impossibilities. I start to believe, even if just to myself, that I can find a way to fix what has broken too many times before.
My rational mind was in full force yesterday when I convinced myself it would be a mistake to chase this dragon. But, this morning, I am glossy-eyed and preening. Sometime, late in the night, someone unleashed the pheromones and I am victim again to my own devious nature. The body has a mind of its own and it knows what it wants. He better bring me back a key chain, because god only knows what my body will be planning to offer him.
I close my eyes and am still there: heart pounding, hands in hair, lips finding lips, shedding clothes all over his living room. Finding the presence of mind to leave before I lost myself in him. I left it open-ended then–a Choose Your Own Adventure moment–and now with no warning my body is flipping the pages back and taking a new path. Wish it luck; I was always so good at finding dead-ends.