Rainy Days and Libraries

In my fantasy he will find me between the fiction stacks in a library shaking the rain from his hair with laughing eyes and a lopsided grin. He will make me feel instantly at ease, not as if I am auditioning for a role and preparing to dive into the spotlight. He will be tall. Which is odd, because I don’t date tall men. But, he will be. I will have to look up for once. I will like looking up, for once.

I imagine him piling stacks of books in my arms: classics and barely-knowns and graphic novels and bestsellers and comedies and tragedies and then looking at me for reassurance, like “you don’t think this is crazy, do you?” And I will shake my head, speechless. And he will cup my cheeks in these two strong hands and he will kiss me kiss me kiss me until there is nothing left.

And I will know that it was worth it, all of this, to get there. To be in that anonymous library with that dark stranger, my arms filled with books, kissing like I have been starving for him. While outside raindrops explode against the pavement.

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18 thoughts on “Rainy Days and Libraries”

  1. Comment #1: That’s my fantasy too! Except in mine, he’s not a stranger. He’s Sebastian.

    Comment #2: I’ve always fantasized about coming home from work (from a field, though I’m no farmer) knowing that I’ve got someone there. Chained to the wall.

    Comment #3: Honestly, I include all my little fantasies like this in my books. Secret’s out. But they’re so earnest, and that comes through in the writing–and yours. If you want me I’ll be working on my tractor.

    1. Comment #1: Isn’t is always Sebastian? He’s got strong hands and an accent to boot. But does he love books… that is the real question. The fantasy kind of hinges on that small detail.

      Comment #2: …I find it kind of unnerving that our conversations continually loop back to creepiness. First I was going to skin you and use you as a throw rug, now you’ve got someone chained to the wall…

      Comment #3: Earnest. Yes! Exactly. Yearning. Like, why doesn’t anything like this happen in real life? It should. If people read more they would see that, then things like this would happen. See. I’ve got it figured out. … but you aren’t a farmer, but you have a tractor… but… but…

  2. He’s a nerd, of course he loves books.

    I had to throw that in. It was the whole joke.

    I don’t own a tractor, but I imagine if I got one the probability of my fantasy coming true would increase exponentially. For you I would recommend moving to Washington or someplace equally rainy, and staying in libraries. You could live there, like in a Murakami book.

    1. Nerdiness doesn’t necessarily mean book-lover.

      The question is why we have such creepy sense of humors. I like it. But that just makes me creepier.

      Hm. If you get a tractor you should probably also acquire some land… otherwise, the tractor might look so out of place that you will end up scaring away your potential lovers, which might be a good thing considering you are planning to chain them up. Also, I could just live in the library but then when the right guy finally came along he would probably be repulsed by my appearance/smell… which would be counter-productive.

      1. But the right library has a bedroom and a shower and everything. Read Kafka On the Shore. It’s not Murakami’s best, but it’s good.

        Seb: We put Brokeback to shame.

        1. Ok. But this recommendation puts my admiration for you on the line. If this is the first book you plan on telling me to read it better be good. You don’t want to start off on the wrong foot, now do you?

          1. You mean I haven’t told you to read about thirty books by now? You asked for it.

            1. Blood Meridian/ All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy. BM if you can stomach lots of violence. AtPH if you’re feeling lovey.
            2. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. Phenomenal epistolary from a preacher-father to his young son.
            3. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. A book I can read any time, any where. Never disappointed.
            4. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. His best.

            That’s my top five. Read or die.

    2. You know, I want to include this one, though it’s completely unrelated, but you brought up tractors…

      The American (which you might know of, if you read my blog fairly closely) was a girl that I fell in love with many years ago. It was the classic will-they-won’t-they.

      Until I found out she was engaged to another guy, back in America. She’d been engaged to him all along, while she’d been flirting with me. While we’d been kissing. While we’d been planning our future.

      And get this — her MOTHER told me she was engaged to another guy in America. ‘You can’t carry this on, Sebastian… She’s betrothed to another man.’

      Anyway, they were childhood loves, and it just so happens that one of the loves they shared was the love of tractors. He was a farm boy, and had a big, red tractor. And she loved big tractors.

      That’s just a small fragment of the story of The American, and it was fun to share it… sorry for this wall of text on your blog, Lindsay!

      (Nice fantasy, by the way, Eric… Now I know who those two characters in your book are really based on — do we get it on, in the full, unabridged version?)

      1. So. That engagement/marriage is pretty much doomed. Odd coincidence, I was actually going to write a blog about how I am always rooting for “the other man” but I wrote this one instead. I love that you commented a story about being the other man. LOVE IT.

        Did her mother really say “betrothed?” wait. How old ARE you? This is the hole in your story. What American mother would actually say that?

        Hm. Big red tractors seem suspiciously to be standing in for some other.. big… red… appendage. I really wish you and Eric would stop trying to force-feed us your gay erotica a little subtlety will go a long way, my friends.

        1. Well, that’s just the BEGINNING of the story.

          She was married to him for 3 years, and they divorced… and her and I ended up getting back together a couple of years ago.

          But THAT story is one I’m saving for the future. Maybe even the memoirs… it’s a bit sensitive still.

          She did say betrothed. She was quite old-fashioned. Not a very nice lady, actually. I’m 24, almost 25.

          Eric and I ARE being subtle. Trust me, we’re a long way from pork-swords-at-sunset. Isn’t such beautiful, budding love kind of cute to watch anyway? At least I didn’t mention big, glowing-red appendages… sheesh.

  3. Ah! That’s amazing!

    I have so many imaginary scenarios like this that I’m having trouble pinning one down at the moment…

    But they usually involve someone I know, which is dangerous… because then I make them into a fictional character. And that can be very disappointing!

    1. YES! I totally turn real life people fictional and then get horribly disappointed when they don’t live up to my mind-hype.

    1. Right?!? Right!!

      I am trying to watch your off-topic trailer right now but it is loading so… slowly…
      the half I have seen so far is totally up my alley. And, Burger will be so upset that Cera is in love with a decidedly less awesome girl than her.

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