Let’s Be Friends

I’m a pretty confident person, I know I have some special qualitity that entrances men. I’ve been known to break a few hearts in my time. So men I get. Men, are uncomplicated to me. 

Women, on the other hand. 

For some reason I can’t explain I turn into a bumbling idiot when faced with the possibility of a new friend. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything or I say too much. I trip over my words and my feet. The confidence and that quality fail me. I want so desperately to make a good impression that I forget how to be… me. 

So, I treat potential friend encounters like dates and dates like casual encounters. My girl-dates are more nerve-racking than any man could ever make me. Oh, unless, maybe Paul Rudd… but even then…

For ages I have been avoiding making a proper coffee date with someone for precisely this reason. But, today I bit the bullet and it was lovely. After I spilled her coffee all over her phone, rambled on like an idiot, couldn’t sit still and generally acted a fool. I think it went well, we have plans to do wings and karaoke soon. Odds are I will somehow set her hair on fire, drink too much, and throw up on her shoes. You can appreciate what my good friends have already put up with.



8 thoughts on “Let’s Be Friends”

  1. Haha, have I told you lately how much I love you? You’re adorable.
    I wish I could remember more vividly what our first encounters were like… but I think most of them were drinking at bus stops after work on our way to the bars, and generally involved a lot of drinking, which helped us skip over the awkward parts lol.

    Hope I get to see you tomorrow 🙂 Misses you ladyface.

  2. I resisted the urge to comment on this after coming home from the bar last night.

    I’ve heard worse from best friends. I manage to surround myself with clumsy people.

  3. Eric: No, please, DO drunk comment. It makes life interesting. And clumsy friends? If it were me, it would be because I attempted to impress you but instead failed miserably in an explosion of awkwardness and glee.

    Bree: Odds are I got you drunk, it is my “new friend stamp of approval”…

    Cenzo: You know everything about me, already, because we were bestfriends in an alternate life. Also, we used to bowl. I won, mostly.

  4. I don’t keep many friends. If I did, I would probably be the same as you.

    As it is, I get quite bored of people quickly, so the few people I actually call friends are those that I haven’t grown bored of, and probably never will.

    I think I have 2 friends in total, for what it’s worth. A lot of acquaintances, but just 2 friends. It’s a little lonely at times, but at least I don’t ever get nervous in their presence. Around them is probably the only time I am calm and truly myself!

    1. I love that you are so forward about getting bored of people. You’re my kind of person. One of my oldest and best friends is a guy that I am completely comfortable with telling he is boring me and I need some space. True friendship is being able to say someone is boring without the fear of losing the friendship. Plus, I find it encourages him to be more entertaining the next time… and I’m all about helpful hints.

      If we are narrowing the friendship requirements to true comfort in being yourself around them… I could probably count them on one hand as well. I always feel the need to be an extra-interesting and funny version of myself when around people I’m not comfortable with. It’s exhausting… and also can cause hilarious adventures.

      1. It’s the whole easily-bored thing which normally results in me spending time on my own. It is a little sad to admit that perhaps I am the only person that can really stimulate myself.

        There was one girl who could stimulate me mentally, and physically, but she’s gone. That leaves two guys, who I still only see every few months — sometimes just for birthdays, when I insist on taking them out for dinner (because some things must be done!)

        Is it always your friend’s duty to be more entertaining? How demanding. How female…

        I always thought it was better to be interested, rather than interesting. Perhaps that’s why I get bored of people so quickly though — I am always interested in them, and very few people have lead interesting-enough lives to keep me interested 🙂

        1. I was kidding about the thinking he should be entertaining. He feels the same way about me. That’s why we get on so well.

          Without falling into your wide open trap of discussing personal stimulation and from there hilarious jokes about masturbation, i will just say that SEE you want THEM to be interesting… aka. entertaining… obviously not a completely female p.o.v.

          I guess that’s why we are such flirty people. Flirting can keep even the least-interesting conversations going.

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