Books

Super Sad True Love Story and the future of publishing

I don’t like the idea of ereaders and tablets. There, I said it. Even though, as a child, I coveted Penny’s blinking electronic book in the Inspector Gadget cartoon—I was always quite sure that it was the sort of thing for crime solving, not curling up with a cup of tea and a good book in your favourite chair. The amount of time I spend in my life staring at a screen—I don’t care how “easy on the eyes” they say Kindles are—it’s not going to be the same as looking at a page, it just isn’t. Not to mention that I am a really messy reader. I eat on my books, I get smudges on my books, you can open anything on my shelf and you will probably find a myriad of stains and dog-eared pages. You’ll probably see a few crumbs fall out if you give it a good shake from its spine. I don’t want to worry about ruining yet another electronic gadget—I ruin so many as it is.

Owning books is a social thing. I like having them on display, I like that when my friends come over they usually spend some time seeing what’s new or what they have yet to borrow. Maybe it’s more childhood residue from playing “librarian” when I would attach borrowing slips into the back of all my books and then encourage my stuffed animals to peruse the selection. “Why yes, Monkey, I think this Anne of Green Gables would be absolutely perfect for you. Give Gilbert Blythe a chance, he grows on you.” But, a book collection, for bookworms can be a status symbol. You learn a lot from what people have on their shelves, if you care to look. I always look.

I guess that’s why in Super Sad True Love Story I totally get where the main character, Lenny Abramov is coming from. In a possible American future of civil unrest, Lenny works as an intake officer at Post-Human Services, a half scientific-half spiritual corporation that sells immortality to a percentage of the population. Lenny is obsessed with the idea that at thirty-nine, he is in a slow decline to death, he has two friends, an obsession with a much younger woman, and books… lots and lots of books. So many books that he has to spray them with Pinsol (because the smell of book is offensive) before his lady friend comes over. In this future people read only digitally, if they read at all, image-intake and data-streaming are really the norm, in fact wasting words is absolutely frowned upon so it’s better to talk in abbreviations—think a MSN messenger-Facebook-rate me-hybrid that has replaced human connection completely. They don’t even talk anymore, they “verbal”. So, Lenny is ridiculed and looked down on because he reads, “talks funny” (i.e. in complete sentences), and looks his age. It’s funny at first, then unsettling, and then downright scary.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Your E-Book is Reading You, there’s a lot of talk about the digital analytics that publishers can glean from ereaders. They can tell when you start a book, what page you stop on, how long it takes you to read it, if you start and stop or read it in one sitting, what sentences you underline, if you quit the book entirely, what book you download next on finishing it. In some cases, companies like Coliloquy have harnessed the feedback power to create choose-your-own-adventure style readings in which what you choose informs how the author writes.

Let me just pause and repeat that for a moment. What you choose informs how the author writes.

For example, they cite a chicklit love decision:

In Tawna Fenske’s romantic caper “Getting Dumped”—which centers on a young woman who finds work at a landfill after getting laid off from her high-profile job at the county’s public relations office—readers can choose which of three suitors they want the heroine to pursue. The most recent batch of statistics showed that 53.3% chose Collin, a Hugh Grant type; 16.8% chose Pete, the handsome but unavailable co-worker; and 29.7% of readers liked Daniel, the heroine’s emotionally distant boyfriend.

Ms. Fenske originally planned to get rid of Daniel by sending him to prison and writing him out of the series. Then she saw the statistics. She decided 29.7 % was too big a chunk of her audience to ignore.

The audience made an authorial decision.

Now, I know this is sort of a low-brow example but at its heart it symbolizes everything that scares me about the future of publishing. To me, literature and reading in general has always been a private experience. Even if you consider book clubs and English classes, while the discussion helps break down themes and interpretations, the actual reading is done on your own and what you immediately take away from the book may be different than what someone else does. Basically, when you read, you are in a private and unique conversation with the text, not even the author, necessarily, because what they intend might not translate to your experience. But you and that text, man that’s intimate, and I don’t know about all of you but I don’t want a text to shape itself to my desires—I want it to challenge me, open me up, get deep—I want a sort of dirty, sensual reading that would be inappropriate to air in public but really gets to the core of me. And that’s how it’s supposed to be.

What if readers gave up on Mr. Darcy before Elizabeth Bennett could fall in love with him? What if the unlikable Frodo had been sacrificed early and Merry and Pippin took the ring to Mount Doom? What if Harry and Hermoine got together at the beginning of the series? What if countless heroines escaped their tragic fate? If readers had a say, would Lolita have ever been abused? Would Romeo and Juliet narrowly escape their fate? Would endings ever be unhappy?

I know I’m going to extremes here, but I could list examples all day.

With books like Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey already shaping a future of readers, arts-funding cut at every turn—in Canada, our small press industry really got the shaft—and the rise of a digital culture based completely on consumption, it’s no longer quite a stretch to think that our future might be a series of abbreviated flashing sentences that conform immediately to your own expectations and desires.

Gary Shteyngart was writing several years ago, at what might be considered the cusp of our digital transformation, so while Super Sad True Love Story‘s dystopian future full of illiterate, sheer pants wearing, immortality chasers might have seemed semi-plausible to him, it’s beginning to look a lot less funny to me.

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Movies, Personal

Live-tweeting You’ve Got Mail and God, I’m going to miss Nora Ephron

With the sad news of Nora Ephron’s passing I had to relive some of my favourite Ephron movies in commemoration. This was the first. You’ve Got Mail isn’t on a lot of people’s favourites list but I always had a soft spot for the dial up AOL and killer ensemble cast (Dave Chapelle! Parker Posey! Greg Kinnear!). Plus, it always feels like Ephron is writing especially for Meg Ryan and in this movie she’s at her highest Meg Ryan-y height. Just the way she walks is equally cute and disturbing. I love the way Ephron writes about books in this movie and she’s on top of her “digress while in the middle of a fight” dialogue game, here and always. I’ve always found it interesting how these asides never seem out of place but rather natural—even though when I fight I hate the attempt to distract me. I’m MAD, don’t make me laugh! Finally, the quintessential Ephron breakup scene—at a restaurant, because when I’m ready to break someone’s heart I like to do it over fine food—wherein they come to a mutual and mature agreement that they don’t ACTUALLY belong together. Like friends. Not like real people.
Bottom line, this movie is cheese but melty, delicious cheese. So just eat it already.
It worries me that I am inadvertently sporting Meg Ryan’s haircut from You’ve Got Mail.
Remember dialup?! I feel like this is something that we as a nation have collectively blocked out. The wait was traumatizing. #YGM
Who brushes their teeth to check their email? Well, maybe I would if Tom Hanks narrated everything I read. #YGM
Brinkley the golden retriever steals every scene he’s in. Tough luck, Parker Posey. #YGM

Look at that mug though, she never had a chance. #YGM pic.twitter.com/pfDEQm6k

Brinkley: “Ask for nudes man, ASK FOR NUDES.” #YGM pic.twitter.com/CIeBcQJz

Tom Hanks: “No, I love Patricia. Patricia is amazing. Patricia makes coffee nervous.” #YGM
Now, I’m just snowballing here, but I’m thinking the more you say someone’s name in a single breath—the less likely you are to love them.
It’s no coincidence that Patricia, Parker Posey and poison all share that spit it out hard P. Or, I guess maybe it could be a coincidence.
Meg Ryan’s bookstore is called The Shop Around the Corner. No wonder your business is failing. People keep coming in looking for gum & porn.
“Is it infidelity if you’re involved with someone on email?” #YGM #ifyouhavetoask
Mucky muck: “Aw, another independent bites the dust.” Old CEO: “On to the next!” It’s funny because nothing’s changed. #YGM
Meg Ryan orders a caramel macchiato every morning from Starbucks and then rants about a corporate bookstore chain opening. Huh. #YGM
“Do you ever feel like you’ve become the worst possible version of yourself?”
“Do you think we should meet?” …and Meg Ryan has the exact same reaction online daters have been having ever since. pic.twitter.com/aUKnRMs8

OMG is that Torres from Grey’s Anatomy working at Zabars? #YGM pic.twitter.com/hxHiRHEH

People really don’t have enough group piano sing-a-longs anymore.
“@birdykins: People really don’t have enough group piano sing-a-longs anymore.” Mostly due to scarcity of pianos and sing-a-longs these days.  Eric Leclerc
@leclercCreative A travesty, really.
Tom Hanks: “That reminds me of the first day I met you.” Meg Ryan: “The first day you lied to me.” #love #YGM
Brinkley sighting! I’m also sad that you didn’t get more screen time, Brinkley. #YGM pic.twitter.com/NXKtFYmK

They get stuck in an elevator and Parker Posey paints her nails. Pretty sure this is the inspiration for M. Night Shyamalan’s last movie.
Sometimes I like to stop romantic comedies before the end so the characters never get together and I can think about how shitty life is.
Oh, Tom Hanks, playing against yourself to woo Meg Ryan, you’re soooo clever. #YGM
OH GOD THIS ENDING. #YGM
Brinkley + true love = game over. pic.twitter.com/sCp1wd0q

You might remember a few years ago I did something similar with West Side Story and pledged to live-tweet the classics and then promptly forgot about it. I’m resurrecting the idea! Now’s the time to unfollow! Tonight: An Ephron-Streep one-two punch with Heartburn and Silkwood. Next week (maybe, let’s not get carried away), I’m thinking All About Eve and Vertigo. AND THEN THE WORLD! Follow along with me @birdykins.
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Links, Writing

Writing round up

In case my maybe-one-post-a-month-if-you’re-lucky style isn’t cutting it and you need another fix, I’ve been getting around lately.

The future wears leggings on Pooping Rainbows – Yeah, I don’t get the website name either but the idea is a great one, a collection of bloggers who are responsible for one post a month, ignoring SEO-comments-click rates or whatever new popularity craze is out there and just concentrating on the writing, for fun, the way it used to be. I’m down. This month (and every 13th from now on) you can find me there. Also, check out the other writers because so far it’s shaping up to be a great little place.

A junior high school nearby bans leggings and yoga pants, citing them a “distraction” from learning. It doesn’t seem so long ago that I perched on a round table of friends, got french-kissed for the first time in the playground after school, thought how wet it was, how grown up. I still pulled out my garbage bag of Barbies sometimes, on sunny Sundays, laid out with my best friends in my front yard, play acting romance with our plastic dolls.

There was a time for distracting but it was not then.

Every Second Weekend book review on The Coast – A quick read from a local author, great for Mother’s Day.

The dialogue is sharp with no word wasted and the characters, despite being at times frustrating and unlikeable, feel real—like family you have the obligation to love, if not understand.

The Motivist zine review on Broken Pencil – a travel zine by Haligonians.

Reading their list of junk shops or marche-aux-puces to check out on the Cote-du-Sud, I’m reminded of my favourite place to spend a rainy weekend afternoon here in Nova Scotia. That would seem, after all, what The Motivist is after — motivating us to examine and cultivate a love of travel and adventure, even in our own backyards. This yellowed paper treasure trove is exactly the thing to spur you on to great discoveries. The first thing you will need is a subscription… and then maybe a bike.

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Prose

The difference is simple

There are poems that she never stops writing, filling page after page until her fingers numb and she has to tap them on the table to wake them. She has no shortage of revelations, in fact, starts awake in the night grasping for ink instead of light, her hair electric with nuance, panting.

For me, the words are like pulling teeth. A bend taken too fast; the clenching in your gut. I write cement sentences that weigh down my pockets, fit together in the same pattern and stand unfinished. I become intimate with demolition.

And you? You are just pages in a book, well-fingered, turning.

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Inside by Alix Ohlin
Books

Getting Inside

I had a brief affair with a therapist. It was odd, talking about your problems while knowing that everything you said was in some way reflecting your insides, there were times that it made me want to fabricate things, exaggerate or diminish or make up entirely. I missed some appointments and then I stopped going altogether, I guess we’ll never know what’s wrong with me. That’s strangely comforting; my mysteries are intact. I guess I just don’t want to be figured out.

Alix Ohlin’s new novel Inside (out June 2012) has a handful of characters and quickly you realize that the common thread they share is Grace, a sincere therapist who can’t seem to get through to the people who matter most. First there is Anne, a self-harmer who keeps Grace at arms’ length and then runs away to New York where she becomes a ruthless actress. Then there’s the strangely alluring man Grace finds on a ski mountain, broken after a suicide-attempt. Finally, her ex-husband who, also a therapist, has patient problems of his own.

Each character is a mystery. Even being able to read the story through their perspective you don’t feel any closer or understand them any better than Grace does herself. There are some things that are kept hidden, even from the reader. What happened to Anne that makes her unable to relate to anyone? When she takes in a struggling homeless teen it’s hard not to excuse her mooching because at least she cares—in some small way—about someone, right? Who cares that the one person she has become attached to is using her, it’s better than nothing. Or is it?

It’s difficult to not feel a bit like a therapist yourself while reading Inside, attempting to diagnose each character. Grace has a saviour-complex, Anne is classic sociopath, Tug—the suicidal skier—is a pathological liar or has PTSD, or both. What about Mitch, the ex-husband? Oh, Mitch? He’s just an asshole.

The untangling of narratives, in time and by perspective feels like good, worthy work here. Where other authors might fail, Ohlin excels, keeping each story engrossing in its own separate way. The writing is sharp, flecked with details that catch your attention like a lure, just a few pages and you’re hooked.

It’s a good thing they sent along Signs and Wonders (Ohlin’s new short story collection) with it, I’m not quite ready to let go of her writing quite yet.

Reel it in.

I wonder what my old therapist would think about that.

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Books, Television

A Dance with Dragons, Peter Dinklage, and why Tyrion Lannister is the hero of this story

It took me awhile to get my hands on George R. R. Martin’s newest in the Song of Ice and Fire series, A Dance with Dragons. I prefer the feel of paperback books and am loathe to add a hardcover to an already existing paperback collection—a small taste of my book collection OCD. So, happily I prodded T’s dad to “read faster” the copy he got for Christmas and that as of a week ago, finally fell into my open arms. It’s great, but I’ll get to that.

First things first, George. I’m still a little peeved over the five-year gap. Five years! I could have given birth and sent a child off to school by now! Five years! That’s a long time to keep me waiting, if you were anyone else I would have moved on by now, to greener pastures, other epic fantasy series. But no, you managed to keep me hanging on. Most notably with the overwhelmingly brilliant HBO adaptation. The casting! Boromir! Arya! God I hate Cersei. How did you do that? With a strong hand and faithful fans? Perhaps it was the network, just think, you could have fallen into The Walking Dead problem and then where would we be? Rooting for zombies and hoping all the characters would die off, I imagine. So who cares that the CGI needs work, this is the most exciting show on television.

Now, moving into the second season it really is becoming clear how great Game of Thrones is. Working from this series must be insanely challenging in the writing room, every little thing matters, how can we cram the most important stuff in without sacrificing any of the action? Plus, we need that gratuitous sex! Take a minute to peruse the A Song of Ice and Fire wiki and you will get a sense of just how invested the fans are. The lore and theories postulated are weeks of procrastination fodder. Who is Jon Snow? I mean, really.

Let’s be honest, It’s been five years, George. I couldn’t remember what had happened between the end of the first book (thank you HBO) and the beginning of the new one, not to mention the forward that explained that A Dance with Dragons would be taking place on the same timeline as A Feast for Crows, except for, you know, when it didn’t. Could you be more confusing? Then you had to throw in your clever “mystery character” chapter headings, as if we weren’t going to figure it out. This isn’t the Game of Chapters, George. But, once I got over those minor annoyances I was fully rewarded for my patience—the return of Tyrion!

Peter Dinklage sings songs of ice and fire in my pants.

The only thing better than Tyrion Lannister the character is Tyrion Lannister played by Peter Dinklage and now (thank you HBO) I have a face to put to the name. Some shitty critics have worried about Ned Stark being killed off and who will replace the “hero” of the series. You know nothing, Neil Genzlinger. Anyone with half a nose can smell out the star here and he’s no uppity martyr like Ned. Tyrion Lannister is the real hero of the series (and the show) and here’s why:

-He’s a dwarf. Many great heroes (literary and of the screen) are marked as “other” in some way, in this series, Tyrion’s dwarfism is constantly beat about your head—he’s called a string of derogatory terms “imp” being the most popular, belittled, and looked at as a monster by his family. And yet, he is consistently underestimated. His small stature aside, there is no bigger man than him—the craftiest, smartest, with the biggest heart. He can talk his way out of any situation, match wits with the most conniving of characters, out drink the drunkards, and manage to care for other characters despite their trappings—possibly the only character in the series that looks beyond the political/class/history/appearance to the person underneath.

-He’s morally ambiguous. A true hero is a real human being, or so College (from the movie Drive) would have us believe, and Tyrion is always loyal to himself first, and in a world of duty-bound characters, it is always refreshing how he never cock-blocks the plot with the inner monologue over “what’s right”. By being a somewhat selfish character, he stays loyal to us, the reader, while still somehow (secretly) doing what’s best for Westeros.

-He’s deadly with a crossbow. That, and, will avenge your honour, even if you’re a whore and by all other accounts, have none.

-He’s hilarious. Especially when stuck next to the bland and humourless characters that surround him. Don’t they smile at the wall, Jon? Gifted with the best lines, and arguably the best narrative, it’s pretty obvious that George writes for him.

-He doesn’t want to rule. So he just does.

-He’s sexy. This one’s pretty subjective but if you had a few of the dirty dreams I’ve been having lately, you would agree.

Tyrion is smarter than you.

A Dance with Dragons doesn’t have nearly enough Tyrion, but I probably wouldn’t be fully satisfied unless it was all told from his perspective. What it does have is richer than all the gold at Casterly Rock; a trip in a wine barrel, befriending a jousting dwarf-girl, the discovery and team up of a certain beloved Mormont, chess-like tournament pwnage, slaves and dragons and sellswords, you know, the usual. I’d hate to give too much away, but the plot thickens and the action builds… a lot is going to happen in The Winds of Winter. 

And if all else fails, there is one thing we know for sure… Damn it feels good to be a Lannister.

Well, unless you’re Cersei… or Jaime… or Tywin… or really any other Lannister…

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Prose, Writing

Sometimes

He makes soft mewing noises when he sleeps, tossing belly-up, like a puppy. I like him with his eyes closed, when I can shed my pretenses in skins, dirty on the floor, and climb into bed. I curve against his convex and map the paths of freckles on his shoulders until they form diagrams in the failing light.

You are here.

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